and I hate my hair. My mommy says she wont pay for another trip to the hair salon until winter because I just got it cut.

So, I’m commuting this year because corona isn’t very far from riverside at all.
But, I miss the privacy of being away from home/parents.
it feels good to be home (especially being able to fully occupy 2 rooms…yes, i have two beds and two closets )…but it also feels good to be alone…

You know what you gotta do when life gets you down?
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming swimming swimming
What do we do we swim, swim, swim
OH HO HO How I love to swim

what is cheating?
is cheating betrayal? what defines betrayal?  Is it defined differently than cheating? What defines cheating?
what is flirting? what defines it?

Seriously, I just came across this one site and am truly amazed at the talent involved.

I’m not a big fan of jewelry. For those of you who don’t know, I hardly wear necklaces. I hardly wear bracelets. I hardly even wear earrings except for studs. I just don’t like the feeling of having something dangling off my neck, wrist, ears, whatever.

But seriously, even I CAN’T RESIST SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL BEADS.

Just  a few months ago, I became interested in swarovski crystal beads. They’re soo beautiful! They shine and sparkle and they come in the cutest shapes ever: hearts, stars, moons, teardrops. And just last week, I bought my first set of swarovski jewelry. It’s a simple necklace. A 14 mm heart pendant strung on an 18 inch sterling silver chain. I also have matching earrings!  Anyways, these babies catch the sun all the time and they’re so pretty!

Check out Lisa’s creations and order them today. I think they’d make the perrrfect present for an anniversary, christmas, birthday, valentines day, anything. Prices are awesome for what it’s worth! Most necklaces are only $25 ish.

I really don’t think your girlfriend, sister or mom would object to receiving one of these: (and hrmm…i don’t know whether or not im hinting at my own boyfriend to get me one…..:D )

MY NEXT ORDER WHEN I GET MY PAYCHECK: KEY TO YOUR HEART NECKLACE IN THE DARK BLUE HEART and earrings! oh, the pink mother of pearl earrings are really nice in real life, too!

http://heheproductions.ecrater.com/
or go to her blog: http://hqcdblog.blogspot.com/

I miss the old times between us,
when things seemed carefree
and the atmosphere wasn’t so tense.
and all we cared about
was making each other happy

I think back on the times
when we flirted and touched,
kissed, laughed and loved
when nothing in the world was  an obstacle
because i had you and you had me

because i had you and you had me
because we had each other,
and that was all it really mattered

our love was selfless
filled with trust for each other, for the future,
sparked by encouragement,
solely aiming at each other’s contentment

now all that’s changed
things are so broken, unmendable it seems.
what is this force tearing us away?
with every frequent fight,
the hurt becomes harder to bear.

we no longer blame ourselves but each other.
our love is no longer selfless, but selfish.
it seems that both of us are at fault
and having each other is no longer enough.

i doubt i make you truly happy
i fear the distance that grows
i weep even when tears are not flowing
i worry about where we stand
i miss the old times, good times.

there’s so much on my mind. where do i even start?

one of these days, ima seriously rip your face off, biiitch.

here’s another instance of me not being able to control my anger.
at least, i haven’t killed anyone yet. you have to give me props for that.

I find myself angry and bitter many times. And when I am, I feel like I can’t control myself and I do things that I don’t intend to do and I hurt others out of anger, revenge and selfishness.

This summer, I’m trying to work on getting rid of hatred in my heart when I am angry. I am trying to work on not letting my angry feelings boil. I want to be in control of my actions, of my words and of my feelings. There are plenty of things for me to change but I feel like my anger is something that needs to be addressed first. I don’t want my angry feelings to hurt God, to hurt Peter and to hurt myself (after i realize how wrong i am…). I know that I can’t change overnight and that I can’t do everything at once. Permanent change comes from gradual yet persistent change.

I think I realized how important it is to control my anger after a sermon that Pastor Mike gave. Often times, I think that there are different levels of sin. I classify sin into bad sin, not so bad sin. But, I fail to realize and to remember that all sin is bad and that all sin is the same. Sin is sin. Feeling angry, acting on revenge, all the forms of malice are no different than murder. I know…shocking, huh? I’m not going to lie…I was appalled when I first learned that feeling angry is just as bad as murder. I mean, those two are totally different things…but unfortunately, they are the same and God sees no difference between murder and anger because afterall, murder is driven by anger. So, I feel terrible because I’ve probably in a sense “murdered” 458659694395829294 people already since I am often, sooo angry at everything and everyone!

But wow, time to change, honeyyy.

On my mirror door of bible verses is something that I need to read every time I am angry and something that i fail to do over and over:
“get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

On a lighter note, my brother Leo got his black belt today! Not even nine years old and a black belt already. Today, I had to bow to master Leo. haha. So cute, annoying, frustrating, but adorable

day two: Peter’s godfather took us through chinatown (because i wanted to see it) and chinatown really looked like scenes from the movies. We also went to italian town and went near to where peter used to work. We also went down the zig zag road in san fran and ended up near the pier. Peter and I went to fisherman’s wharf, pier 39 and gueradelli square. Actually, we walked from like pier 14 to pier 39 then to gueradelli. Uh…so we kinda walked from pier 14 to pier 50. whoooo excercise. It was a long walk but it was very fun. I really enjoyed just being so close to the water and we were so lucky because the weather was wonderful! Peter and I bought matching sweaters and I bought a hat. I ended up calling up my dad and told him I wanted to stay in san fran foreverrrrrr.We had breadbowl at fisherman’s wharf and ended up feeding the bread to birds and ducks. There was a man who came up to us and told me that I was beautiful and then asked for money for the soup kitchen -_-. So…Peter told me that he donated ten bucks just for the compliment the guy gave…Anyways, Peter and I ended up buying lots of post cards and also got those name paintings one for the each of us and one that said “Lu Family.” Tried a strawberry shake at gueradelli and went to japan town for dinner. Had tempura which was really good (my first time having japanese food besides sushi). I went all crazy trying to look at the different shops except some of them closed. Also, had crepes again but this time, from a different shop. The line was so long, but the crepes were so worth it! Peter took me to the outside of Japan town and gave me a biggg fattt kiss haha

day three: Peter and I started off the day by heading to Alameda. He gave me a tour and showed me where he used to live and his school and the places that he normally went to. We traveled through a street with alottt of trees and saw a castle looking house. Peter also showed me alameda high (which is the size of walnut high and diamond bar high combined witht he same amount of students from walnut high). The theater is right next to the school! He also took me to see spite house and I took lots of pictures because I couldn’t believe that there are actually people living in there. Anyways, we went to Ivan’s house and headed to go off to Peter’s old church. I really liked Gracepoint and I felt more at home at Gracepoint than I normally do at efcw. I met a lot of really nice people that genuinely seemed interested in getting to know me. Afterwards, Ivan, peter and I went to southshore and shopped around before dinner. We also met up with Peter’s other friends, ehren and kevin and went back to ivan’s house. I had linguini’s alfredo for dinner and I thought that it was the best alfredo that I had ever had. Way better than olive garden and macaroni grill. Peter ended up cooking crab rangoon for his friends and they went crazy. I kinda wish I liked it as much as them but sadly, I’m no tthat big of a fan of cream cheese. I also had my first coke in a bottle and not in a can (I kept it as a souvenir!). I also ended up meeting peter’s ex-girlfriend, which was really awkward and something that I wanted to do yet didn’t want to do. I really hope to never ever be put in one of those situations again..meeting a girl from the past.

day 4: Consisted of hanging out with peter’s oldest sister, karen and her family at this one exhibit in san francisco. There were three neat things that I will list:
1) a live rainforest where you can travel up the layers of a rainforest. Inside, butterflies and birds fly all around you and some, even land on you. Anyways, I thought what was most cool about the rainforest was the weather. As you travel up the layers, the weather gets hotter so…by the time we were at the top, I almost couldn’t breathe!
2) a really big aquarium…I think it was even better than senior prom’s aquarium! Hrm…there was an underground glass tunnel with fish swimming all around us. You could see the aquarium up and down and side to side. The details were really nice.
3) a plantetarium show. Basically, we were watching this screen and the screen surrounded the audience. I fell asleep though because i was really tired but It was cool nonetheless.
After hanging out with karen, lem and gabby, Peter’s parents, peter and i all went to emeryville mall. It is my favorite mall now- the shops are all so cute and the buildings are incredibly pretty and victorian style. Ate at fuddrockers (they have unique burgers like ostrich burgers and buffalo burgers) and shopped at barnes and noble where I found the cutest card for father’s day. And yeah, I bought it for my dad. Afterwards, went to tuckers ice cream. Best ice cream in the world. Homemade ice cream. Extremely creamy. flavors are amazing. expensive ($16 for a gallon, $8 for half a gallon). We got green tea, lemon sorbet and mango ice cream. Green tea is my favorite (the taste is different than any other green tea ice cream i’ve had! and the mango tasted like creme savers!).

day 5: drove up to davis and spent the day at karen’s house. visited UC davis (such a pretty campus) and went to an elegant thai restaurant for dinner.

Thank you peter for taking me up to san francisco and for showing me around. Thank you for saving up money to spend on me. Thank you for spoiling me and telling me to shop more and even paying for my shopping. I am so lucky to have you.
thank you to peter’s mom and dad for also inviting me to san fran.
thank you to peter’s godparents for letting me stay and treating me so nicely and cooking breakfast for us and letting us ride the elevator over and over.
thank you cute doggies for making me want a pommeranian now.
thank you karen and lem for your hospitality.
thank you gabby for being so cuteeeeee.

universal studios: not worth the price. anyways…I won a teddy bear by playing one of those games! haha well…actually..peter paid an extra $3 just so I would win for sure.