10/4/08

datee with peter.
went to cue and then ontario mills.
i drove today! yayy i went on freeway. it was scary though especially since this is the first time that i drove freeway so far and in the rain too! but thank you peterrrr for helping me with directions and spending the whole day with me and getting dragged into cue and picking out clothes with me and holding my shopping bags i want to go buy more clothes!

Yesterday (friday), peter and I went to amc to watch fireproof. Fireproof was an awesome movie! I think watching that movie really made me realize how I can’t act on my feelings and how I can’t depend on myself. I think it made me realize alot about a guy’s point of view instead of just what I see all the time. I think both peter and I really needed to watch that movie to realize how we should treat each other and how we can improve to be better for each other. I know there’s alot of things that I need to work on. I really hope that God will work in me and help me be the person that he wants me to be.

I also think that Pastor Mike’s sermon about how you have to treat someone with love by taking the first step and then, that person will respond by love was portrayed throughout the whole movie.

If you guys are in a relationship/hope to be in a relationship/are married/want to be married…basically, EVERYONE should watch the movie. And don’t get turned off by it just because it’s a “christian” movie. It was a great movie, with a great lesson. I liked it just as much as I liked the notebook! Maybe even more

And now I think I am going to order that “love dare” book online. It’s only $8! :DDD
I want to watch fireproof again. I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of watching it.

sept 19 was our one year we watched ghost town. and we have a raincheck for claim jumpers. yummy

sept 21 i moved into ucr. i hate school. i hate the food. i miss walnut. i like living with ashley though, its fun.

When Gas was at $4.60, oil prices were $144
Now, oil is approximately $93.  Why did gas prices only drop $1?
If you do your proportions…

144               93
—–   =     —–
4.60               x

cross multiply…and divide to find x.
x should be 2.97
so gas should be around $3.00. Why is it still $3.60-$3.70?
They say that gas will be $3.00 at the end of this year but what about now?
Someone explain to me. I still think gas should be $3.00 right now.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from earth to Eternity

I realized how pathetic I am and how angry I am. My blog entries have been nothing but a bunch of complaining and rants.
I realized how selfish I am and how self centered I am and…what a life I don’t have. I actually blog about my anger. Doesn’t blogging about my anger, about myself in general display selfishness?
I realized how much more I want to be a dentist after working as a dental assistant this summer. I don’t want to be on the sidelines watching the doctor extract teeth, doing root canals, drilling while I’m just sucking out saliva. I don’t want to be the employee, listening to doctor’s orders. I want to be the one extracting teeth. i want to be the doctor. (And I really want to feel the power when I hold the needle in my hand)
i realized how much I’m going to miss home when I go off to college. Even though, I’ll be back every week and even though I’m not even gone yet, I feel like crying when I think about leaving home.
I realized that when I was small, I was a lot like my dad and now that I’m older, I’m a lot like my mom. Hot tempered, easily angered but quite smiley 90% of the time, easily worried but careless..and just…when I see my mom happy or mad, it reminds me of myself.
I realized that alot of girls wear bright pink/almost red nail polish and that it doesn’t look as bad as I thought it did before.

I realized how much I want to change how I live my life, how I view life, how I react at life, how I treat life and what I want to do in life.
-I want to watch what I eat, especially at college. I want to limit the amount of juice and soda I drink. I want to excercise.
-I want to smile at life. I still want to smile at life when life throws me a rock.
-I want to be honest in life. I want to be viewed positively by other people.

oh, and I want braces again in my lifetime. Then Ima bleach my teeth super white and make them all pretty:)

It’s so hard to be calm. Right now, I really don’t feel like being calm. I want to punch someone, yell at someone.
It’s so hard not jumping to conclusions. Right now, I’m jumping to all sorts of crazy conclusions.
It’s so hard right now to not feel hurt. Right now, I feel hurt, disappointed, sad, angry, frustrated, revengeful, jealous, violent.

I’m fighting back my tears.

i think this is cute. classy. the bottom is flirty and feminine
it reminds me of audrey hepburn’s styles

this is cute, too. I really like it.

Sadly, I didn’t buy one at all
The first one….was expensive.
The second one….I felt like it was kinda short.

1 Corinthians 13:5
“[Love] keeps no record of wrongs”

I think I’ve always had a trouble with that. I forgive somewhat and I don’t forget at all. I think it’s because part of me doesn’t want to forgive entirely because I want the person who hurt me to be hurt in return. I think also, when someone apologizes to me, I take the apology and forgive them…somewhat. I’ll be friends with them again but I’ll always remember and at certain times, even if its way in the past, I’ll still feel a bit of anger. I keep a record of all the wrong things people do to me and I have a hard time really, truly forgiving.

And now on with Sunday’s sermon.
Love for Enemies (Matthew 5:43-48)

-Christianity is a religion of “do’s”
-3 things that Jesus tells us to do for our enemies to show them love is to 1. do good for/to them 2. bless them 3. pray for them. Yes..show enemies love.
-Motion makes emotion. If you act first, then the feelings that you want to receive will come. Show love and love will be returned to you.
-Love your enemies through action
-Blessing consists of 1. touch (like a hug or pat) 2. words (kind words) 3. a special affirmation
-don’t react in anger
-pray for those who mistreat us
- a woman named Elizabeth Elliot said “treat your enemies like how you would treat Jesus”
-The theme of sermon on the mount is to “be different” and you cannot be more different from the world than if you love your enemies.

Okay, so I know I’m pmsing right now. I’m on my period and I’m being a real pain butttt I swear that this time, I”m not using my pms as an excuse to get mad.  I really do think I have a legit reason at the moment to feel un-okay.

and ugh! I’m so frustrated right now.