one of these days, ima seriously rip your face off, biiitch.

here’s another instance of me not being able to control my anger.
at least, i haven’t killed anyone yet. you have to give me props for that.

something to dwell on/church sermon/congrats leo

I find myself angry and bitter many times. And when I am, I feel like I can’t control myself and I do things that I don’t intend to do and I hurt others out of anger, revenge and selfishness.

This summer, I’m trying to work on getting rid of hatred in my heart when I am angry. I am trying to work on not letting my angry feelings boil. I want to be in control of my actions, of my words and of my feelings. There are plenty of things for me to change but I feel like my anger is something that needs to be addressed first. I don’t want my angry feelings to hurt God, to hurt Peter and to hurt myself (after i realize how wrong i am…). I know that I can’t change overnight and that I can’t do everything at once. Permanent change comes from gradual yet persistent change.

I think I realized how important it is to control my anger after a sermon that Pastor Mike gave. Often times, I think that there are different levels of sin. I classify sin into bad sin, not so bad sin. But, I fail to realize and to remember that all sin is bad and that all sin is the same. Sin is sin. Feeling angry, acting on revenge, all the forms of malice are no different than murder. I know…shocking, huh? I’m not going to lie…I was appalled when I first learned that feeling angry is just as bad as murder. I mean, those two are totally different things…but unfortunately, they are the same and God sees no difference between murder and anger because afterall, murder is driven by anger. So, I feel terrible because I’ve probably in a sense “murdered” 458659694395829294 people already since I am often, sooo angry at everything and everyone!

But wow, time to change, honeyyy.

On my mirror door of bible verses is something that I need to read every time I am angry and something that i fail to do over and over:
“get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

On a lighter note, my brother Leo got his black belt today! Not even nine years old and a black belt already. Today, I had to bow to master Leo. haha. So cute, annoying, frustrating, but adorable